How to Drive Women Crazy

When you get together for drinks with the guys, you just smile and nod as they detail how crazy their women are. Your girlfriend is always so calm and happy, what are you doing wrong? Don’t worry, with just a few simple steps you too can learn to drive women round the bend!

First, and most importantly, be inconsistent. Keep her guessing, women love that. One day be totally into her, wanting to know everything about her and making plans for your future together, and the next, act like you barely know her and don’t have the time to take her calls. It will drive her wild. She won’t know what you’ll do next, and the suspense will keep her up all night thinking about you.

Remember you’re the most important person in the relationship. If you’re running late, don’t worry about calling her, she’ll be so happy to see you she won’t mind. When you do arrive, be sure and tell her all about how your day was. She’s been sitting around waiting to hear all of it, and has nothing nearly as important to tell you. She will love hearing about the jerks you work with and how your boss won’t take you seriously. She’s there to support you, so tell her about your mother riding you about coming home to visit. She’ll realize that getting paid less than the guy below her who’s been there half as long as her pales in comparison with your problems at work, and will be happy to be distracted from worrying about her own mother’s health problems by listening to you complain about having to make time to see yours. And, of course, she’ll be happy to give up her whole weekend to accompany you on your visit to your family. There’s nothing she’d enjoy more than spending the morning with your family at your grandmother’s grave, then waiting a few hours as your brother and sister-in-law get the kids organized so you can go get some lunch as a family. One day that could be the two of you, so seeing how your brother lets his wife take all the responsibility for the kids will be a nice glimpse of her future!

Show her you care by pointing out that she’s just jealous of you spending time with any other women, or even looking at them. Of course she is, and she will love knowing that you noticed. She’s not upset that dinner was ruined because you were running late chatting up some woman at work, or embarrassed that you almost snapped your neck following a pretty girl walking past. Nope, she’s jealous your attention is on any woman other than her and will be touched that you point this out.

Sometimes women will get upset. Whatever you’ve done, it’s not your fault, and she’s always overreacting. It will help her to calm down if you point out to her how she’s getting upset over nothing. She needs to be told that, or else she could just keep getting more and more upset over something trivial like your insulting her family. And don’t let her having a bad day at work affect her time with you. She needs to leave work problems at work, learn to compartmentalize so she can give you the attention you need after a long day doing real man’s work.

But what if you’re still looking for that perfect girl? Don’t worry, there are plenty of things you can do to keep a prospect on edge and interested in sticking around until you make up your mind if she’s worthy or not. Be sure and chat up a girl you’re interested in with innuendo and banter. Women love this, it lets us know we’ll be getting a tiger in the sack. But remember, you’re just testing her out, if she makes an advance she’s shown herself to be a loose woman and you should cut and run. Men are the hunters and women your prey, and you don’t see gazelles putting the moves on lions. It’s not natural, and any woman exhibiting such behavior likely has other problems you don’t need.

Some women need a little more convincing than others. If she seems hesitant to fall under your spell, you’re going to need to really lay it on thick. Keep after her, make sure she knows she’s your number one gal. Charm her, bring her around to seeing you’re the one for her. Remember, anything easily won is worthless. But be wary of the girl who wants you, you may have hooked a desperate or defective one, and those are clingy. You don’t need to be tied down like that when there are other, better fish out there waiting to taste your bait!

Don’t let a woman get complacent. Be vague about plans, make it difficult for her to pin you down on anything, even if it’s just as simple as whether you want to go to the early or the late show of the movie Friday night. Your schedule can change at any time, and she should expect that. If you have to cancel at the last minute, she’ll be fine with it. There’s always something on the TV, and it’s even more fun watching your favorite shows when you’re all dolled up for a night out!

If you have caught a good fish, that doesn’t mean it’s time to hang up your rod and reel. There’s an ocean full of women out there, and you have no obligation to tell someone freshly hooked that you’ve got someone at home already until you’re good and sure she’s interested. We’ve all seen The Bachelor, we know how women love to compete for a man. You’re just giving them what they want!

And lastly, if you want to drive a woman wild in bed, be sure and push her head down to make sure she knows what you really want. Kissing gets so tiresome so quickly, and we’re just waiting for you to let us know when you’re ready so we can stop.

June 17, 2010. Tags: , . Life, the universe, and whatnot. Leave a comment.